Advice for a Younger Me: If Only I Had Known...

After almost 30 years of working at Ozanam Manor, St. Vincent de Paul's 49-bed bridge shelter, I struggle to put to words how much I have learned and experienced here. I started as a case manager and eventually became the director of the program. Looking back, I sometimes wonder what words of wisdom I would give myself on the day before I started the job. Here are some of them. 

1. "Don't be afraid" 

Or even better, be afraid, but do it in a way that suits you and have faith that things will turn out OK. 

2. "Believe in yourself"
 

As a new case manager at Ozanam Manor, I had not yet had much experience with homeless people. When the director asked me to lead the alcohol recovery group, I didn't feel that I could lead or inspire any group, much less people from such a different background from mine. To this day, I even have trouble with any sort of social events that involve lots of noise and people around with whom I need to speak. My anxiety made me worry that our residents, struggling with alcoholism, would resent the fact that I was there and hadn't walked in their shoes and that they would end up rejecting me. I imagined how other people who had lots of experience with alcoholics, or were simply more comfortable with strangers, would handle this much better than I could.  

But in the end, I learned that I can make a difference and that everyday I was helping the group overcome addiction. 

3. "Listen Well"

In the years since I started, I have learned to be myself and listen well. When other people are encouraged to talk, they are far more inspired than they would be listening to me. Listening is fulfilling to me if I can relate what others say to an idea that is meaningful to me. 

For example, with the alcohol recovery group, I was fascinated by the idea of a self in which a person had lost confidence being assisted by a higher power and the support of a group. I think my rapt attention inspired the members of the group to share their experiences and wisdom they had acquired and be supported in their recovery. 

4. "Things are always better than they seem" 
 

 The negative things that I imagine happening at Ozanam Manor while lying in bed in the middle of the night usually bear no resemblance to what actually happens the next day.

Fears are fears, not reality. 

 

Mike Bell is the director of Ozanam Manor. He is married and has a daughter who lives in Brooklyn, NY. With a bicycle and the light rail as his main form of transportation, Mike bikes around 25 miles per week.